WHAT WOULD TOTO WATCH? — Movie reviews, news and interviews from Christian Toto

American duo Clooney

Look, Ma, George Clooney’s new movie “The American” doesn’t have any shaky cam scenes, gravity defying stunts or other exhausted film tics.

Let’s take a moment to drink that in.

Clooney’s film eschews more than just modern movie conventions. It neglects to give us a protagonist to cheer on. We’re left with Clooney’s star power and maturing acting skills, which are considerable, and a story which can’t rally to save itself in the film’s waning moments.

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Machete Trejo

Director Robert Rodriguez gave the conservative blogosphere fits when he cut a trailer for his newest film blasting Arizona’s anti-illegal immigration law. (warning: link includes profanity)

But it was all a put on, the director assured us later.

Now that the film itself, “Machete,” is ready to be released the same arguments will likely return.

Early press accounts show the movie features a rabidly anti-immigrant politician who compares Mexicans to roaches as well as a Minuteman-style thug who shoots a pregnant Mexican woman.

Subtlety was never in Rodriguez’s directorial tool kit.

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‘Gentleman, you can’t fight in here … this is a war room!”

The producer behind “Piranha 3D” is taking exception to James Cameron’s slam against his fishy take on the 3-D movement. And you don’t even need those silly glasses to enjoy the war of words.

Cameron, the uber-confident director behind “Avatar,” started the ruckus over at VanityFair.com by saying the new “Piranha” film helps give 3-D movies a bad name.

Now, “Piranha 3D” producer Mark Canton is firing back – with a tersely worded press release. Don’t make him angry, or he’ll Tweet it, too!

“Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own.  It is amazing that in the movie-making process – which is certainly a team sport – that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one.  His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric.”

And Canton is just getting warmed up.

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Harry Brown Michael Caine

The shock success of “Gran Torino” should have meant “Harry Brown,” Michael Caine’s excursion into geezer gunplay, would similarly rock the box office.

But Caine’s film, released with little fanfare earlier this year, couldn’t duplicate the fate of Clint Eastwood’s vigilantes-on-Geritol flick.

“Brown” still should be seen, and its DVD and Blu-ray debut this week allows audiences can catch up on Caine’s most audacious role in recent memory.

  • Harry Brown” Sometimes a man must fight back against the criminal scum in his neighborhood, no matter how old he may be. Michael Caine plays such a man, a codger drawing on his military background to clean up his community. But at what price to both himself and his soul? Caine makes Harry a believable vigilante even if some of the situations laid before us seem more rote than revelatory. The Blu-ray presentation includes some deleted scenes and a director’s commentary track.

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Marmaduke Blu ray

The folks behind this week’s Blu-ray release of “Marmaduke” did a little research about those big ol’ Great Dane dogs.

They’ve gathered a list of breed-specific nuggets to share with the public, and WWTW is more than happy to post it here. Just remember – if you adopt a Great Dane he won’t necessarily speak in the So Cal rhythms of, say, Owen Wilson:

  • Feed me! Great Danes do eat more than, say, a puggle, but they chow down under 3 cups of dry dog food at a time. Giving them more can spell trouble, especially if they’re at that puppy stage since too much protein can damage their growing bones and joints.
  • Give love, get love: Some dogs are like Greta Garbo – they vant to be alone! Not Great Danes. If these dogs don’t have plenty of human contact they can get depressed, mentally unstable and even aggressive. And no one wants that.
  • Need an apartment dog? Yes, Great Danes love to stretch their legs, but even apartment dwellers can consider these dogs for their families. They aren’t as high energy as one might think, and with daily exercise a Great Dane can be right at home in cramped quarters.
  • Gentle giants: Great Danes look like tough customers, but the breed is known for being able to share their living quarters with small dogs and cats as well as toddlers. They also can be used as therapy dogs in some scenarios.
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Life As We Know It

It’s hard to imagine a more brutal profession than acting.

Sure, the A-listers have it easy, living lives of opulence and rarely raising so much as a callous on their hands from manual labor. But getting to that point – and staying there – is undeniably hard. Just ask every other waiter working in Hollywood, or all the actors who briefly found fame only to see their stars sink in short order.

So here are five actors who are currently starring on the big screen – but likely won’t be for long. Yes, they may still land supporting roles in lesser screen projects, but this critic senses their current gigs will dry up in short order – for a variety of reasons.

  • Megan Fox: Beauty in Hollywood comes with an unforgiving expiration date. Simply put, there’s always another gorgeous young actress vying for the role you want. Fox simply hasn’t shown the talent needed to beat back that competition, and her penchant for insulting the people who hire her won’t help her no matter how stunning she looks in slow-motion glamour shots.
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A guest post on why online film delivery isn’t clicking with filmmakers generated a feisty – and on target – comment from a new Watcher.

Larry offered up this pithy retort to those who think the only way to see a movie is in a theater. Let ‘er rip, Larry:

Note to filmmakers:

I want to watch films the way I want to watch them. I don’t want you or the theater controlling the sound, where I sit, when I can go to the can, what I can eat or drink, whether or not I am dressed or undressed.

I don’t want my shoes sticking to the floor in something I can only hope is no worse than a spilled soft drink. I don’t want to sit in a seat that might have previously held some Hollywood ‘fame whore’ without underwear who might be carrying the gift that keeps on giving. I don’t want to hear cellphones ringing and the subsequent conversation. I don’t want to hear babies crying or toddlers fussing. I don’t want to miss some of the movie because my bladder insists on attention.

Now, IF the credits include PIXAR I might drag myself to the theater.

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Bryan Bonner isn’t your average horror movie fan.

His work with the Rocky Mountain Paranormal Research Society gives him a unique perspective on things that go bump in the night.

So WWTW asked him to review “The Last Exorcism,” the new horror film hitting theaters this weekend.

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(Guest post by James Mowery)

For many people, the recent advancements in computer technology have been life changing.

After all, it’s difficult to argue against the merits of having an entirely library of books, movies and music all at the tip of your fingertips on one device. That is, unless you are a filmmaker, musician or author.

Artists the world over have expressed their concern as of late about online delivery of their products, and for a variety of reasons. In particular, filmmakers are beginning to come down on online delivery, deeming it unsuitable for their work.

Filmmakers aren’t embracing online delivery for a variety of reasons.

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Last Exorcism scream

Who you gonna call when you need an expert opinion on “The Last Exorcism?”

Your friendly neighborhood “Ghostbusters” don’t actually exist. But the Rocky Mountain Paranormal Research Society does. The group, which uses a scientific approach to study paranormal phenomena, offered up two critiques of the new horror movie that uses the real practice of exorcisms to scare us silly.

The group also has an Internet radio show Monday nights at 7 p.m. Mountain Time (9 p.m. EST).

So while WWTW already chimed in with a review, who better than Paranormal experts to give their take on the shock tale?

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