Open up and say … ewwww!

I’d rather get root canal by Laurence Olivier than suffer through the indie thriller “Teeth” again.

The new film, now out on DVD, involves a young woman whose most intimate of areas is crowned by a set of jagged teeth.

Still with me?

Now, “Teeth” could have been a satire of our uptight sexual culture, and it is for fleeting moments. Or, it might have examined sexual empowerment - which it does oh, so briefly.

Instead, it’s a clunker that tries to do too many things and fails on every level.

And boy, is it graphic. I’ve sat through the grisliest torture porn swill, but this film’s bloodletting made me queasy.

Maybe it’s a guy thing. Audiences can just imagine what kind of damage our heroine does to those who cross her path.

The real shame is that actress Jess Weixler is terrific in the lead role. She’s lovely, conflicted and horrified, all in convincing shades. Too bad her character is as much of a mess as the rest of the film.

If you must, watch “Teeth” on an empty stomach.

(Photo: Jess Weixler stars as a woman with an extra set of choppers in “Teeth”)