Indy fans don’t mind the fact that their hero is in his 60s, or that the last time he rode into the cinematic sunset cell phones were as large as our heads.
We just want our whip-crackin‘, fedora wearin’ hero back, and Steven Spielberg and George Lucas oblige us with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” It’s the summer’s biggest hit so far, if you’re looking at the cold, hard numbers.
The newest “Jones” has cracked the $300 million mark at the box office, but I’ve yet to meet a soul who came away with anything but dashed expectations.
“Kingdom” finds Indy (Harrison Ford) racing the Russians to find a crystal skull which could give great power to its holder. Or something like that. It’s hardly crystal clear. En route, Indy teams up with young Mutt (Shia LaBeouf) who says his mother and an old mentor of Indy’s (John Hurt) have been captured by the same Russians gunning for the skull.
That squad is led by Cate Blanchett’s Irina Spalko, who speaks in a cheesy Russian dialect but fights with the ferocity of a small army. No matter, since she’s still about as frightening as a pimply-faced movie usher.
Along the way, Indy gets fired from his university for associating with a double agent, survives a nuclear blast and gets reunited with an old flame.
It’s a by-the-numbers adventure painted by a master working without his muse. Either there’s precious little magic left in the Indy formula, or Spielberg and crew knew they didn‘t have to extend themselves to rake in a fortune. There’s nothing here as beguiling as a weary Indy shooting the swordsman during “Raiders of the Lost Ark”
That’s movie magic, and it’s what’s glaringly missing here.
Blame an anemic script which relies so heavily on our pent-up nostalgia that it can’t be bothered with moving these characters forward so much as an inch. And what a shame, since a better screenplay would have run wild with the Indy/Marion reunion. But all Karen Allen gets to do as Marion is look content to be back in the franchise’s good graces.
LaBeouf who showed star potential in “Transformers,” is adequate here, a slick-haired poseur who can take a better punch that expected. There’s little connection between him and Indy, and their bickering stands as one of many weak elements that should have been addressed in early script rewrites.
And if you moaned when Indy, Short Round and Willie used a yellow raft to survive jumping out of a plane in “Temple of Doom,” just you wait. There’s one sequence here that makes that far-fetched scenario seem like it was ripped from a documentary.
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” might be seen as a solid, if unspectacular adventure had the three Indy films not preceded it.
(Photo: The previous “Indiana Jones” films cast a large shadow over “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”)
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Brad hansen 07.12.08 at 9:42 pm
Speaking of Karen Allen, I wrote an unsolicited script for a Starman sequel back in 1998. It was my first script and I quit college to finish it. It’s been gathering dust ever since. I sent it to Jeff Bridges and John carpenter, although I would prefer if Carpenter didn’t direct a sequel. I wrote some good f/x sequences and some interesting characters. I’m pretty sure I’ll never be involved, but I’d to see the f/x scene from the beach being incorporated, (Jeff’s manager Neil will know the one, totally plagiarised from another movie, but it would look great on film today). If anyone has any questions, email me at hansenfilm@yahoo.ie and I’ll answer them. (Although I won’t give away any plot points. And yes there is a son and indeed, I actually have the perfect casting suggestion!!
cftoto 07.13.08 at 5:03 am
Brad, did you ever get any feedback on your screenplay from the folks associated with the original “Starman?” (Maybe they were unwilling to accept a screenplay without an agent attached??) I bet “Starman” will be remade over the next few years.