Most of the summer’s big, bad blockbusters have already opened and met their fate - goodnight, and good luck “Speed Racer” and “Meet Dave.”
But while “The Dark Knight” and “Pineapple Express” still await their debuts, I thought it’s high time to toast this summer’s films. So here’s the best, and worst of Summer ‘08 … so far.
Most Embarrassing Subplot: Charlotte’s stomach woes in “Sex and the City.” Did Kristin Davis draw the short straw in the first story meeting?
Best Performance by a Moustache: William Hurt’s facial hair in “The Incredible Hulk.” It acted circles around him.
The “Hey, Wait a Minute … I’m an Oscar Winner” Award: Gwyneth Paltrow in “Iron Man.” Her small role could have gone to a million other actresses, but I must say she looked sexier than I’ve ever seen her before as the faithful Pepper Potts.
Best Inspiration to Hit the Gym: Tim Roth’s airbrushed abs in “The Incredible Hulk.” Better get Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley to lend Tim their exercise doohickey.
Best Imitation of the Petrified Forest: Jason Lewis in “Sex and the City.” It’s called acting, Jason. Try it. It doesn’t hurt.
Put a Fork in ‘em, He’s Done: M. Night Shyamalan for confirming our worst fears about “the Next Spielberg” by giving us “The Happening.”
(Photo: A CGI Hulk stares down a far from imposing Tim Roth in “The Incredible Hulk”)
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Dagnabbitt 07.14.08 at 4:18 pm
~ Davis still retains the Heigl Prize for least-cooperative cast member in the eyes of the writers, and thus paid the price for looong memories
~ Debatable indeed whether “SiL” was an earned Academy Award, and not the product of Oscar-quality lobbying, and too many successive roles displayed little or no acting talent, but while Pepper *could* have been played by any of the otherwise-dismissable hordes of starlets, Blythe’s little girl showed true acting talent by maximizing a secondary role for nearly (teach the stuntwoman to RUN) minute of screen time - she must have watched Dame Dench’s similar-but-superior screen time maximization in “SiL”
~ Gah! Saw him in some disposable straight-to-PPV thriller with your clone’s ex, and he may compete with Casper van Diem for best impersonation of a stiff
~ Manoj: you’ve Lucas’d yourself. Step away from the storyboards.
cftoto 07.14.08 at 4:38 pm
So Davis was a diva on set, Daggy? Do tell - and by tell, I mean link to the stories …
Heidi 07.19.08 at 8:34 pm
I think Gwen could share that Oscar with Charlize Theron in “Hancock.”
~Heidi