October 2008

How’s this for a lousy horror movie pitch?

We’re gonna remake a hokey ’50s movie whose only claim to fame is it launched the career of a young Steve McQueen. And to top it off, we have no stars and we kill off the apparent hero in the first 15 minutes.

No wonder the public yawned when 1988’s “The Blog” hit theaters.

Yet “The Blob” defied the odds to become one of the decades best horror sleepers.

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The “rage” zombie film “28 Days Later” introduced audiences to creatures which moved much faster than your father’s zombie.

But fast zombies were previously featured in “Nightmare City,” an Italian zombie movie from the ’80s, says Rob Weiner, pop culture guru and humanities librarian at Texas Tech University.

Weiner appreciates some of zombie auteur George A. Romero’s works, particularly “Dawn of the Dead” (“his crowning achievement,” he says).

But he’s disappointed too few horror fans know about Lucio Fulci, the Italian director who gave us 1983’s “The Gates of Hell” and, more importantly, “Zombi 2” - “the greatest zombie movie ever made,” he says.

Weiner attended a pop culture conference recently and no one knew who Fulci was.

“That disgusted me,” he says.

Other zombie sleepers Weiner suggests you check out include “Cemetery Man” and “Dead Alive” by “Lord of the Rings” maestro Peter Jackson.

Before “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight,” Christopher Nolan busied himself by giving Al Pacino the best role of his golden years.

“Insomnia” casts Pacino as - yawn - another cop, but this time he’s chasing a killer across verdant Alaskan grounds, not the Big Apple.

Pacino plays Will Dormer, an L.A. detective invited to the 49^th state on behalf of an old police pal (Paul Dooley).

A local teen was beaten, killed and left on a garbage dump, and it’s up to Dormer, a fellow LA cop (Martin Donovan) and local officer (Hilary Swank) to find the killer.

The chase leads the officers to the girl’s unsavory group of friends as well as a novelist (Robin Williams) who may be connected to the crime.

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My first hero wasn’t Mike Schmidt or Burt Reynolds, it was Gene Siskel. He loved movies like I did, and he broke them down in ways that helped you make the right choice at the cineplex.

In Siskel’s spirit, here are my choices for the top film critics working today.

1. Christy Lemire, AP: OK, I almost always agree with her reviews. But what kills me about Christy’s work is how she captures precisely what I try to convey in my own reviews, but she does it so much better. Curse you, Christy. And keep on writing.
2. Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: His politics aren’t mine, but that takes a back seat to his well reasoned arguments and frisky prose. He’s EW’s anchor.

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I confess. I’ve got a soft spot for horror comedies.

So here’s my tribute to “Slither,” the best intentionally goofy horror film since “Tremors.” And very few folks paid to see it during its 2006 release.

“Slither” falls squarely in the “an asteroid fell to earth and carried with it something really nasty” genre.

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If you think sitting next to a cell phoner talker at the movies is bad, try concentrating on a film while the person next to you flosses.

Yes. She flossed her teeth during the movie.

Yuck.

Settled into my seat last night for a screening of the new Clint Eastwood movie “Changeling” (WWTW review coming later this week) and the woman next to me started flossing her teeth.

Anyone have a comparable story out there?

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Is it really that bad at the movies?

Director Brett Ratner (”Rush Hour”) gets what he deserves in this amazing celebrity portrait in the Jewish Journal.

Major hat tip — Patrick Goldstein’s The Big Picture Blog.

Not much I can add. I once did an interview with a famous actor who shamelessly flirted with the photographer on assignment with me. That was tame compared to this story.

The Great TVPredictions.com has good news for anyone considering an investment in Blu-ray.

The site says the upcoming Black Friday sales (Nov. 28) will include a $179 Blu-ray player.

Then again, today’s Rocky Mountain News has potentially chilling news about the Blu-ray format. (hat tip: Dirty Running Thoughts)

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Are DVD buyers going Blu?

Catherine Zeta-Jones won an Oscar five short years ago … and her latest film rocketed almost straight to DVD.

The invaluable Box Office Mojo says the film earned a whopping $5K in theaters.

“Death Defying Acts: Houdini’s Secret” casts Zeta-Jones as a con artist who falls for Houdini (Guy Pearce), the original escape artist.

So why did it sneak into only a few theaters before hitting DVD this week?

Check out my Donne Tempo review to find out.