Top 5 Toothless Vampires

For every Bela Lugosi we get a George Hamilton.

But in the Tanned One’s defense, he was going for camp in “Love at First Bite” (ripe for a remake, eh?)

Here’s five bloodsuckers who couldn’t get our pulses racing in any way, shape or form. And let’s lead with the newest member on the list:

1. Robert Pattinson, “Twilight” – Nobody broods better, or longer, or with more intensity, than the latest cinematic vampire. But whether he’s wooing his lady love or keeping some nastier vampires at bay, Pattinson is all gums, no bite.
2. Thomas Ian Griffith, “Vampires.” – When a John Carpenter movie is bad … duck and cover! This stale blood sucking pic is a complete waste, and Griffith’s performance does the production no favors.
3. Angie Everheart, “Bordello of Blood.” – All apologies to Dennis Miller, but Everheart should stick to the runways.
4. Eddie Murphy, “Vampires of Brooklyn.” – Not funny. Not scary.
5. Richard Roxburgh, “Van Helsing.” – I can still smell the stench emanating from this misfire.

(Photo: Eraserhead called. He wants his hairstyle back. Robert Pattinson goes all the way goth in “Twilight.”)

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