Few franchises are as consistent as the “Transporter” series.
Consistent doesn’t mean great, or even good. But sequels should deliver precisely what the first film offered, and those expecting anything more shouldn’t complain when they get the original splashed with a fresh coat of paint.
It helps explain the modest rewards delivered by the Man in Black, Frank Martin, in “Transporter 3.”
He’s nothing if not the most efficient FedEx man in movie history.
It’s hard to describe the plot of the third installment, in part, because the screenwriters clearly didn’t craft it with an easy summary in mind. Or clarity.
Frank (Jason Statham) has a new assignment, and for once he has no choice in the matter. He has to deliver a package (contents are a question mark) for a weasely American millionaire (Robert Knepper) or else. Should he abandon the mission, and move farther than 75 feet from his beloved black Audi, a metallic bracelet on his wrist will explode.
No chance of “Transporter 4, 5 and 6.”
He’s accompanied by a mysterious, heavily freckled woman (Natalya Rudakova) who talks in that funny broken accent known as vaguely Eastern European. She’s a sizable distraction, but Frank works better when he’s grumbling about someone. Plus, she likes to booze it up and wears a pretty short skirt for much of the adventure.
Fellas, start your engines.
Statham remains a reliably engrossing martial arts hero, even if he looks more the bruiser than anything else. The film’s villain may be hard to decipher, but he’s far more wicked, and watchable, than the slug at the heart of “Quantum of Solace.” And Frank’s romantic chemistry with his mysterious gal pal also overshadows the recent Bond+Bond Babe fireworks.
Sure, “Transporter 3’s” dialogue sounds like it was scribbled down on a cocktail napkin, and the stunts defy gravity as well as every other scientific law on the books. But Frank’s still the man, tooling around in his tasty set of wheels and dispatching the bad guys without crinkling his suit.
It’s exactly what we’ve come to expect – consider that either an invitation or a warning.
(Photo: Star Jason Statham is behind the wheel for a third time in the fitfully entertaining “Transporter 3.”)
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it’s back to the beauty parlor for Natalya Rudakova. She makes the new Bond girl Oscar worthy.
Are they running out of writers in Hollywood? It seemed like they left the script writing for T3 to six year old boys.
Do you think they were trying to save money here? A director no one’s every heard of (at least I hadn’t and couldn’t find much info on him), a leading lady who should be cutting hair and a script written by six year olds.
I think the first two were better, not to say they were “good,” but this was bordered on rotten. It’s only saving grace is that it’s funny, even when it isn’t trying to be.
Sad to say I found the Transporter girl fetching (and uber-annoying at times) … so maybe that helped shape my review by a fraction or two. And I think Statham is a great action hero … faint praise in actorly circles, but he’s fun to watch when he takes out one small army after another. Franchise wise, I simply expect less from these flicks, and it seems to meet me halfway.
Oh, don’t get me wrong – I like Stratham! Especially with his shirt off.
I thought he was perfectly cast in “The Bank Job.” He is a great action hero!!! He seemed a bit dull in this one.
I was glad to see a leading lady who was a bit different looking – freckles, etc. I just wish she could act and sadly, no matter how good she looks in a short skirt, she cannot.