The ‘perfect’ movie critic

Some movie critics are a bit easier to please than others.

And then there’s Mark S. Allen, the film guru for KMAX-TV. Here’s his take on “Inkheart:”

“The perfect family film!”

Now, let’s see what he says about “Marley & Me:”

The perfect comedy for everyone.”

Is anyone out there taking this prattle seriously? The Sacramento Bee did a little digging on Allen roughly a year and a half ago. Good stuff.

It gets better.

Mr. Allen runs a film blog. It’s as stale as his reviews — last updated April 3, 2008.

C’mon — we’re dying to read about more perfect films we can see.

Allen belongs to the exclusive club of “quote whores,” critics who give rave reviews to films that, to put it mildly, don’t have to save $$$ for any Oscar campaigns.

What’s the lamest movie ad quote you’ve ever read?

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda January 24, 2009 at 10:47 pm

“If you only see one movie this year …….”

cftoto January 24, 2009 at 10:52 pm

Exactly, Linda … or

“I laughed, I cried (it was better than ‘Cats’)”

JimmyC January 25, 2009 at 1:08 am

For a movie called Kiss or Kill:

“It’s as if Hitchcock attempted a sexy road movie in the Australian desert!”

K January 25, 2009 at 3:33 am

“An instant classic!”

Usually applied to small films which validate the reviewer’s politics or the political slant of his publication. E.G. “Milk” and The Village Voice.

Ronn January 25, 2009 at 4:44 am

i bought this movie called ‘Shockwaves’ which is a nazi zombie movie with Peter Cushing and on the box there was a quote that i thought was pretty funny… “The Best of the Nazi Zombie Movies!”

Nick January 25, 2009 at 4:48 am

I remember a commercial for “Wild Wild West” that quoted a reviewer saying, “‘Wild Wild West’ has special effects!”

cftoto January 25, 2009 at 4:58 am

If you’re a savvy movie fan the movie quotes can be hilarious … like you stated, Nick. But for the casual movie goer who isn’t knee deep into the scene, they can steer you to some pretty lousy movies.

But I’d see any movie described as the “best Nazi Zombie Movie” .. even by Mark S. Allen.

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