‘College’ – Pledge to avoid

The new frathouse comedy “College” peaks early — way early. The film’s opening credits pack all the ingenuity you’ll find in this slob comedy.

The credits are printed out on various college-type material – a blue book here, the sweet spot of a co-ed’s back there, and we’re psyched for a DVD sleeper.

Then, unfortunately, the story begins.

Three high schoolers — think “Superbad’s” skinny kid, fat kid and McLovin – spend the weekend at the local university to try college life on for size.

Oh, and the least annoying of the trio (Drake Bell) wants to show his new ex that he can let loose with the best of ‘em. The overstuffed one (Andrew Caldwell) is instantly grating, which makes you appreciate Seann William Scott’s Stifler from the infinitely superior “PIe” movies all the more.

Imagine stale gags from “Animal House,” “Old School” and “Revenge of the Nerds” fused together like a Frankenstein’s monster of a comedy, and you get “College.”

The film, out Jan. 27 on DVD, could have been appealing as a made-for-cable lark, but it’s too R-rated – and not nearly funny enough – to warrant its theatrical release.

Audiences might gasp at some of the gross moments, like when the boys do body shots off the hairiest frat guy in town.

And if you think that moment smacks of homo-eroticism, well, you’ve only scratched “College’s” surface.The whole film feels like one big repressed fratboy coming to terms with his alternative lifestyle.

There’s a good movie to be made with that theme, a sort of “Brokeback University,” but “College” is content to traffic in tired sexual humor until the end credits mercifully roll.

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