Jason Voorhees hasn’t aged a day since he first took the movie world by storm in 1980’s “Friday the 13th.”
The slasher film formula, however, could use some Botox.
The new “Friday the 13th,” a remake-slash-reboot of the popular horror series, does all it can to spice up the genre. Overstated gore. Gratuitous nudity. Imaginative kills.
But a slasher film is still a slasher film, no matter how slick, or sick, the packaging. And like the original, the new “Friday the 13th” never overcomes its simplistic setup.
The new “Friday” picks up the story where it began, with Jason’s Ma losing her head over her Camp Crystal Lake massacre. Poor Jason is left an orphan, albeit a disfigured one with some anger management issues.
Poor fella.
Flash forward to the present, and an unsuspecting group of party goers near the old camp grounds discover Jason is alive, well and still bearing a grudge toward beautiful people.
The brother of one of those people (Jared Padalecki) heads to Camp Crystal Lake to look for his “missing” sister. He meets up with another group of revelers, led by an obnoxious frat boy ripe for Jason’s brand of execution.
Naturally, cell phone service is lousy on the camp grounds. You’d think with all the murder around the lake they’d throw a new cell tower up nearby.
“Friday the 13th” isn’t scary in any traditional sense, although genuine frights were few and far between in the original films. Jason appears so often, with so many lingering close-ups, that the novelty of his bulk quickly fades. Audiences are left to wait for the next kill, hoping it will deliver some sort of kinetic jolt.
Occasionally it does, but would it kill them to supply a semblance of mystery to the proceedings?
Director Marcus Nispel, who shot the thrilling horror remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” is too busy indulging in sex scenes and drinking mayhem to bother making much sense of it all.
“Friday the 13th” will likely spawn a sequel or two – or maybe even a half dozen. And it’s a pretty good bet none of them will come close to matching this mildly diverting reboot.
(Photo: Chelsea (Willa Ford) discovers Jason (Derek Mears) watching her from the shores of Crystal Lake in New Line Cinema’s and Paramount Pictures’ horror film “Friday the 13th,” a Warner Bros. Pictures release. Photo by John P. Johnson)
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
i agree with your take on F13. i saw the film Friday night in a packed theatre with my wife (who is the best woman in the world because she goes to these films with me even though she can’t stand them) anyway we went with a bunch of friends and there were people clapping and cheering at different times and it was a lot of fun. Was the movie any goo? not really the thing about slasher movies is that it is a genre that has a basic formula you know what to expect coming in and if it delivers on said formula then it is usually entertaining. The thing that is so appealing to the original slashers is that they were made for next to nothing they have actors in them that usually look people you know they look like ordinary everyday teenagers or twentysomethings. The problem with the Michael Bay remakes and the others is that they are putting the hot young actors from the CW or whatever show is hot and they put a lot of production value into it and it is the new and improved glossed over version of the “Classic” that you grew up loving. i think certain horror films could benefit from being remade this being one of them but in the end what if anything can you retell that hasn’t been told before. i am eagerly awaiting the remake of ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’
just saw the movie. the one thing that i absolutely HATE was the fact that jason was RUNNING!!!!!!! HELLO! the whole scary thing about him is that he’s walking after his victim WHILE they’re running… and some way some how, he catches them… WALKING!!!!! this movie disappointed me. stick with Jason’s act from all the other movies if anyone is planning on making another remake…
i think the whole running motif worked in zack snyder’s ‘Dawn of the Dead’ remake but in slasher film it is not as good. personally it didn’t bother me that much but i can understand how it can upset someone. i disagree about the fact that him walking makes it scary i think what makes it scary is that he has a very large machete and he is going to kill you.