Jackie Chan can still beat up just about everyone in your rolodex.
But he’s getting older all the same (he’s 55) which means it’s smart to find a fuzzy family comedy as his latest project.
Yet “The Spy Next Door” isn’t the most seamless vehicle for Chan’s career shift.
It’s inelegantly crafted, and poor Chan still struggles with English (watch the film’s bloopers to hear him mangle the easiest morsels of dialogue).
But as kiddie catnip – and an inoffensive parental distraction – it’s not too shabby.
Chan stars as Bob Ho, a secret agent ready to hang up his spy stuff for the chance to marry the girl next door.
That girl happens to be Amber Valletta, so it’s easy to understand his motivation.
Valletta’s Gillian is smitten with Bob, but as the single mother of three knows her kids must approve of Bob just as much as she does. So when Gillian has to travel to see a sick relative Bob jumps at the chance to babysit her unruly trio.
But just when he starts connecting with the tykes some of his old adversaries start sniffing around to find him.
Everything about “The Spy Next Door” shouts middle-brow fodder for the kiddies. But Chan is so unflappable, and so easy to embrace, that you almost forgive his frozen line readings.
He’s still a fine physical comic, but he can barely spit out the verbal gags.
The aging action star remains a blur of activity in fight scenes, and while the battles here don’t measure up to his past scrapes they’re still a notch above the usual action comedy.
The child actors here are cookie cutter types, but each is given a handful of clever lines to make their work palatable. And the elder daughter (Madeline Carroll), all sharp comebacks and steely glares, shows signs of three dimensions early on and grows nicely in the part.
“Spy’s” villains speak in heavy Russian accents imported from a bad Cold War thriller. The rest of the cast is instantly forgettable, from a bland George Lopez to Billy Ray Cyrus as the most unlikely actor ever asked to portray a spy.
“The Spy Next Door” delivers groan inducing moments, but the pace is as lively as its star. And, for a few throwaway moments, the movies doesn’t feel like it was machine built to let Chan extend his career.
(Photo: Jackie Chan (as Bob Ho) and Alina Foley (as Nora) star in “The Spy Next Door.” Photo credit: Colleen Hayes)
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