What does it say when you just got kicked off an airplane for being too heavy – and it’s still not the most embarrassing thing to happen to you this month?
Director Kevin Smith’s February gets much worse with “Cop Out,” easily the lowest point in his see-saw career.
Smith didn’t write this mess – it’s the first time the “Clerks” creator is working as a director for hire.
But couldn’t he have inserted a few of his patented rants into the movie? Or, at least, realize he has no business directing an action sequence and let someone else take the gig?
“Cop Out” stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as Jimmy and Paul, two long-time New York police officers coping with personal issues.
Jimmy is trying to pay for his daughter’s elaborate wedding but is short on funds. He decides to sell a valuable baseball card to foot the bill, but the card gets stolen by a local gangster.
Paul thinks his wife (Rashida Jones) is cheating on him, even though he doesn’t have a lick of proof.
Their personal peccadilloes take a back seat to professional woes when an assignment goes awry and they’re both suspended from the force.
That doesn’t stop them from trying to track down the Mexican gangster who swiped Jimmy’s card.
Audiences know they’re in trouble during the opening sequence in which Paul interrogates a suspect by throwing movie lines at him.
It’s not funny, but one meta-joke arrives to save the day. Paul quotes “Die Hard” and Smith cuts to Jimmy who claims he never heard of that movie.
What should have been a slam dunk laugh is botched by Willis. It’s arguably the only sly joke in the film, and they blew it.
“Cop Out” is so darn lazy it’s a miracle anyone – let alone two scribes (the brother team of Mark and Robb Cullen) – took screenwriting credit. Need an example of the alleged wit on display? Consider Paul discussing his bowel movements.
“I set records with my s*** turds,” he brags.
Who says they don’t write ‘em like they used to?
So, is “Cop Out” an ’80s buddy movie homage? Sure, it trots out some of the genre’s cliches, like the frustrated boss chewing out our heroes and a synth rock soundtrack courtesy of Harold Faltermeyer.
But it’s not a parody, nor is it funny enough to stand tall next to “48 Hours” or “Beverly Hills Cop.” And the action is stiff and uninteresting, proving once more Smith needs to stick close to his skill set – potty mouthed pop culture riffs in the hands of his rep company.
What’s most galling about “Cop Out” is its utter lack of ideas. What motivated them to write these characters, or pitch this story around Hollywood and cast still-marketable actors as the leads?
Morgan dons a cell phone outfit during one sequence, and in the next scene he’s in his boss’s office – still wearing the costume. Why? And why did anyone think it was funny in the first place?
Later, a scene’s sole comic highlight involves Morgan eating nachos while a suspect spills her guts.
Much of the film feels ad libbed, but it’s as if Smith decided to take the worst, not the best, takes for the final print.
It’s hard to figure out Morgan’s screen persona at this point in his career. He’s a man child, alternatley sweet and sexual, but there’s nothing clever or compelling about anything he does. At least twice the camera catches Morgan with spittle dangling from his mouth. Is that part of the shtick?
The film briefly comes to life when Seann William Scott appears as a hapless house burglar. He drives Jimmy and Paul to distraction by mimicking what they say, a comic conceit older than Henny Youngman and Bob Hope combined.
His poorly written extended cameo is the highlight of the film.
“Cop Out’s” final scene lingers on for what feels like forever, and when the film shows us the reasion why -it’s yet another stale gag – you wonder why they even bothered?
The same can be said of the rest of the movie.
(Photo: Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis star in Warner Bros. Pictures’ crime comedy “Cop Out.” Photo by Abbot Genser)
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
The “Die Hard” interrogation scene sounds awfully similar to a scene from “Stakeout” where Richard Dreyfuss doesn’t recognize that the line, “This was not a boating accident!” comes from “Jaws”.
I love buddy cop action comedies, but I have to say that “Cop-Out” looks plain awful, judging by the trailer. The gags are simply not funny or clever; the action looks non-existent. Anyone interested in renting a truly clever action comedy should rent Shane Black’s “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.” It features a private eye-actor duo instead of two cops, but it’s got a very clever and funny script, about a million light years ahead of “Cop-Out.”
Umm, I think this film is supposed to be cliched and cheesy. In fact, I’d say it does a good job. I enjoyed it.