Think “Transformers” was the last toy to inspire a movie franchise?
Not even close.
Taylor “Abs” Lautner is slated to star as “Stretch Armstrong,” the game “Battleship” is heading to a screen near you and even those annoyingly cute Troll dolls have landed a movie deal.
Or, at least their creators have.
But why should Hollywood stop there? Here are five toy-related franchises just waiting for a green light.
- “Rubik’s Cube” – This existential drama focuses on a man whose need to solve this brain teaser steers him on a road to madness.
- “Tickle Me Elmo” – The delightful “Sesame Street” Muppet gets his own feature film, but he isn’t the Elmo you grew up watching. This edgy take on the material casts the red Muppet as a creature fed up with complete strangers massaging him 24/7.
- “Mr. Potato Head” – He looks all cute and cuddly in the “Toy Story” films, but he’s really a psychotic with an inability to stop changing his appearance. Joan Rivers is in talks to play Mrs. Potato Head.
- “Silly Putty” - It’s fun to press this amorphous blob onto the funny pages and see the images transfer onto it. But what happens when you rub Silly Putty onto a neighbor’s face – and then steal his identity?
- “Reader’s Choice” – Any toys you’d like to see made into a motion picture?
(Photo: The 2009 movie “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” proved there’s a market for movies inspired by kiddie toys.)
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
“Go-Bots” – The “Transformers’” 1980s lower-cost competitors get their own direct-to-DVD release in resplendent 1990s-quality CGI.
and
“Zhu Zhu Pets” – Hard-boiled hamster cops who don’t play by the rules. Featuring the voice of Queen Latifah.
Six words: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Wasn’t there a “Robot Chicken” sketch that cast the Cabbage Patch Kids in a horror movie? I liked that idea. Those things were so freaky looking.
Nerf Blaster – saving his allowance to purchase a fully automatic assault toy – Little Jimmy gets to meet the man from the ATF, who introduces him to his new foster parents and treats him to a 3 month stay at juvie hall.
Hilarity ensues.
Tongue in cheek is this theme, but I seriously would like to see Microman/Micronauts on the big screen.
Otherwise, “Chia Pet: the Movie” wherein the title character grows, all right – and never stops growing. I see the potential as a mash-up of nostalgiac dramedy and post-apocalyptic horror as the pet eventually engulfs the earth.
D.
Jayce and the wheeled warriors (I don’t know if that was a show that became a toy, or the other way around)
Can be turned into an industrial innovation verse regressive plant based oppressors.
Rock’m Sockem robots, ala battlebots.
Agree with “Go-Bots”
A well made He Man, might be interesting. A WELL MADE one.
Monkeys in a Barrel: Average Americans recieve mysterious wooden barrels from an anonymous sender. Unable to resist the tempation to open the wooden containers of evil they unwittingly release bloody Darwinian vengence the likes of which even God has never seen.
Here are my six words: Major Matt Mason: The Motion Picture. A great way to do a Right Stuff or Apollo 13-type movie, with Chuck Yeager-esque crewcut characters flying imaginary, yet cool retro hardware to the moon and back.