This might come as a shock to some, but Hollywood isn’t perfect.
Sure, today’s movie studios can wreck the world (“2012″) and perform other visual miracles. But sometimes the industry places a bet on an actor, product or theme that fails miserably.
The following are examples of Hollywood at its worst:
- 3-D 3.0 – Yes, the jury is still out on this trend, but between the exorbitant prices and upconverted 2-D films Hollywood has done all it can to crush the latest 3-D wave. And in record time, no less. Three-D movies hit during the 1950s (“House of Wax”), and were resuscitated during the early 1980s (“Jaws 3D”), but this time it appeared like the technology caught up with the times. But science is no match for Hollywood greed and impatience.
- Prequels: Did we really need to learn about Hannibal Lecter’s formative years? Or how Wolverine got those sharp claws? And let’s not discuss the 6-year-old Michael Myers getting his kill on for the first time. The prequel concept can work, but too many weak prequels have hurt the concept.
- Pauly and Yahoo: Sometimes, the industry builds movies around comedians it thinks will be the next Jim Carrey/Eddie Murphy/Chevy Chase. Suffice to say Pauly Shore and Yahoo Serious proved the system isn’t foolproof.
- Board game movies: Using a little crystal ball peering here since the first wave of board game-inspired flicks have yet to hit movie houses. But is anyone itching to see movies based on “Monopoly” and “Battleship?” Didn’t think so.
- Watchers’ choice: What Hollywood trends have you found the most disastrous?
(Photo: Yahoo Serious was the next Paul Hogan … until people caught a glimpse of him in duds like “Young Einstein.”)
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Worst Hollywood trend: M. Night Shyamalan
Lazy America-bashing movies. Falcon and the Snowman remains one of my favorite movies, despite wising up to the teenaged romantic rebellion which drew me to it when it was released. Why? Though it has way too little of the mighty Michael Ironside, FATS has solid performances and a script not based on talking points. The seemingly unending anti-US box office failures from the likes of Clooney, Penn, Haggis, etc. and on and on and on cannot say the same.
Oh, depending on the cast assembled to meet their impending doom, I would gladly see a movie based on Hungry Hungry Hippo.
For the love of God, Hollywood, please stop with the remakes. The only thing a remake does is confirm the superiority of the original movie.
“Using a little crystal ball peering here since the first wave of board game-inspired flicks have yet to hit movie houses. ”
For shame. How could you forget Clue (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088930/) ? Nothing new under the sun, etc., etc.
1. I agree 100% on 3-D. Everytime I hear about a movie coming out in 3-D (which is pretty much every movie these days), it’s like Hollywood is screaming, “pay us even more money for our product and get nothing worthwhile in return!” As Cartman would say, eh, screw you guys.
2. Rappers and hip-hop stars with no acting range getting movie roles. It’s insulting to audiences, who would rather see an actual character rather than a rapper playing himself on screen, and also insulting to all the aspiring actors out there, who work hard to hone their craft only to find the plum movie roles being handed to 50 Cent or Mariah Carey on a silver platter.
3. Shaky-cam action scenes. Somebody buy Paul Greengrass a freaking tripod already.
In “duds” like Young Einstein? I thought that was a one-and-done attempt, which we could only wish is true of Pauly Shore.
That said…
Torture porn – can’t even imagine why anyone would pay money to see a movie that’s sole goal is to show (mostly) young women being tortured.
Comic book movies that aren’t actually based on comics – Sky High, Zoom, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Hancock (I think)? That’s what I can think of off of the top of my head, and only Hancock is even slightly watchable.
Rob Schneider – I realize that he must have photos of Adam Sandler beating a puppy with a baby seal – the only reason I can think of that he gets a role in every single Adam Sandler film – but that doesn’t mean anyone else has to cast him.
Unending sequels. How many more “Pirates” or “Transformers” does anyone really need? I think they are entering “Police Academy” territory now.
I don’t know if this is a trend, but I am sure tired of the horrible romantic comedies they have been foisting upon us lately. That is one genre that really needs some help. Are decent scripts really that hard to come by? Or do they start with decent scripts and then the movie falls apart after the director gets done with them? I have been hearing folks say this about the horror movies too, but I don’t really watch those, so I can’t say.
A trend that long predates hip-hop. Ask Elvis and Madonna.
1] Eco-apocalypse movies like The Day After, 2012, The Happening, etc.
2] McCarthyism-themed movies. Really, this has been done to death.
3] TV show remakes, especially if they include Ben Stiller and/or Will Farrel. Make that any Will Farrel-driven comedy, too.
4] American soldier-bashing movies, especially set in Iraq and Afghanistan. Or those movies where a lone, mavericky agent discovers that the CIA-FBI-US Millitary is super-duper evil — and the conspiracy goes all the way to the top!!!