Fairy tales may be one of the last story resources Hollywood has yet to tap, but if “Red Riding Hood” is any indication Humpy Dumpty and pals are better left alone.
“Red Riding Hood” is a horror movie without one good scare, a children’s tale too grim for wee ones and a “Twilight” clone without any Team for which to root.
Director Catherine Hardwicke may have kicked off the actual “Twilight” franchise, but she can’t replicate its sweet and passionate core, the best part of that middling film series. That didn’t stop her from trying, and the results provoke plenty of unintentional laughs.
Amanda Seyfried stars as Valerie, a young woman being forced by her medieval village to marry a man she doesn’t love. Valerie’s heart belongs to Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), a shy young man without the cultural trappings Henry, her hand-selected beau (Max Irons, son of Jeremy), brings to the courtship table.
The romantic triangle gets shoved aside when Valerie’s town is besieged by a werewolf. In their panic, they summon a werewolf specialist, Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) to smite the creature once and for all. But Father Solomon’s methods involve witch hunting and blaming innocents for the increasing body count.
But Father Solomon is on to something. The wolf is a member of Valerie’s town, and it could be anyone, from Peter to Henry to her kindly grandma (Julie Christie).
“Red Riding Hood” wishes it could tap the moist-eyed romance at the heart of “Twilight.” Instead, we’re left with a wooden Fernandez and Irons moping over Valerie, neither able to convincingly capture the innocence of young romance.
“If you love her, you’ll let her go,” Valerie’s mom (Virginia Madsen) tells Peter, one of many lines that fell out of the cliche truck rumbling across the set. When screenwriter David Johnson (“Orphan”) tries to shoehorn a few classic bits from the children’s story source, the results are more more calamitous. Couldn’t the filmmakers leave the red riding hood in place as the key connection between tradition and this update?
The wolf in question stands as a dramatic set back for CGI effects. It’s crude and unconvincing, and Hardwicke gives it far too many closeups which keep reminding us of that sorry state.
“Red Riding Hood” tries to please too many audiences – the horror fans, the Twi-hards and the kiddies, but the finished product likely won’t satisfy any of the above.
(Photo: Amanda Seyfried plays a young woman torn between two men – and one nasty werewolf – in “Red Riding Hood.” Warner Bros. Pictures release. Photo by Kimberly French)
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
After I Am Number Four and Red Riding Hood, it’s clear that ‘Twilight’ is a name of a new movie genre. One I’m not fond of. I’ll definitely skip this one.
Well said. And “Twilight” itself is hardly good enough to inspire copycats. Xeroxes of mediocrity ain’t pretty!
This is too bad to hear. Was pumped to kick off my 2011 movie season the same way I did 2010, with a Gary Oldman flick, but found out he’s barely in this and should wait for video at best. Guess Battleground LA it is.
Or Battle LA as it’s supposed to be.
Well, at least it’s got the traditional witch hunting, homocidal priest.
Just wondering, did anyone see this advertised and expect more than a lame Twilight copy? That’s pretty much what I got from the get go and was not at all impressed.
Too bad. I was willing to overlook the irritant that is Amanda Seyfried (and focus on Billy Burke instead) and see it if it was any good. That lead and laughably bad = a pass from me.
Burke is rock solid in the “Twilight” films. Here, he has a critical scene which is so poorly acted it’s stunning.
Bummer. And not usually like him, maybe he had also lost faith in the project by then. He has also done some great guest starring work on ‘The Closer’ and ‘Rizzoli & Isles.’
It is laughably bad. I just saw it tonight, people laughed during serious parts because of how cliched it was. Ok, I laughed at serious parts because of how cliched the writing was, but I was not alone!! I can’t believe the budget for this movie was over 40 mil.. I thought it seemed so cheap.
Drewster: Yeah. At first I was expecting to see a dark and serious version of the tale, but the first trailer blew it for me. I had seen it coming from miles away that this is another flick for the Twilight fans. And having Gary Oldman involved in something like this adds the disappointment for me.
I Liked it WAAAAYYY better than Twilight. Twilight sucked and did the book no justice at all and I did laugh at some parts but I thought it wasn’t that bad, much more entertaining than Twilight bleh XP. But they did look to perfect and clean to be real. They should’ve atleast smudged some dirt on them.