This critic gives up.
Director Michael Bay’s movies are dumb, strained and adolescent to the core. But when the man behind “The Rock” and “Pearl Harbor” is orchestrating special effects that continually trick the eye he’s a genius.
Now, with 3D technology by his side, Bay delivers his most stunning visual achievement yet with “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.”
The third film in the overproduced, overlong, over fill-in-the-blank franchise shows Bay is actually learning from some of his past mistakes. The threequel is far more coherent than “Revenge of the Fallen,” the second installment which left movie goers unsure exactly what they just saw.
For “Dark of the Moon” that won’t be an issue. Audiences will know Bay remains disinterested in plot, characters and dialogue, but his grip of the sensational has never been more assured.
“Moon” begins by reconstructing the great space race of the 1960s with an Autobot flair. Seems the epic Autobot/Decepticon war involved the dark side of the moon, leading to a massive NASA cover up that should make conspiracy theorists grin from ear to ear.
Flash forward to modern times, and Autobot pal Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is having trouble adjusting to life without those shape-shifting ‘bots. He graduated college three months ago and hasn’t found a CEO job yet. And boy, is he grumpy about it. Sam even has a new supermodel, or rather girlfriend, played by Victoria’s Secret alum Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, replacing Megan Fox. Bay shoots the model-turned-”actress” from the high heels up so as not to miss a millimeter of her fabulous gams.
The Autobots, a trusted branch of humanity’s defense core after the first two features, discover their old leader Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy) was left back on the moon during the ’60s. Now, Sentinel Prime is back on earth and ready to be rebooted. But that’s precisely what the Decepticons, planning a massive comeback, have in mind.
The setup is terribly complicated, and it doesn’t help that Bay inserts so many new players into an already stuffed franchise. Most characters are so cartoonish they might as well be carrying Acme explosives and muttering about a certain Road Runner.
It’s an embarrassing array of actors who should know better (John Malkovich, John Turturro and Frances McDormand among them), but the focus remains on young Mr. Witwicky. The film’s screenwriters do all they can to make you wish head baddie Megatron (Hugo Weaving) took Sam out of his misery. He’s thoroughly unpleasant, a spoiled ex-hero far too eager to matter once more.
A better actor could pull off that insouciance. LaBeouf simply appears surly and remote.
The story takes a variety of twists and u-turns, all the while we get reunited with franchise regulars like Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson. They’re eye candy for the ladies to balance out the Huntington-Whiteley factor, which is considerable.
And then, it’s mayhem time. And while the last “Transformers” film took that cue to the extreme there’s a more coherent visual palette in play with “Moon.” What Bay unleashes marries superlative 3D with action beats that rival “Avatar” for their velocity and power. Buildings collapse, heroes give it their all, American flags wave without irony. It’s a pro-freedom movie and unabashedly so.
The new Shockwave character, a twisting machine at the Decepticon’s bidding, delivers destruction like no ‘bot before it. It’s mesmerizing to see it turn a skyscraper into so much crumpled metal. What’s stunning about “Moon” is you never once blink and say, ‘aw, that’s fake,’ during these moments. Bay’s artistic team has created a universe that feels as real as the seat back in front of you. That’s something lost in all the violence and gunplay.
A few battles in “Moon” feature the gruesome destruction of earthlings, a tonal misstep for a franchise to be consumed by the pre-teen set. At the end of the day the franchise is about a beloved set of boy toys.
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” possesses every flaw found in Bay’s previous achievements and adds a few new ones for good measure. But for sheer visceral power and action you simply haven’t seen before, it’s the summer film to beat.
(Photo: Bumblebee in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” from Paramount Pictures. Photo credit: Courtesy Paramount Pictures © 2011 Paramount Pictures Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Hasbro, Transformers and all related characters are trademarks of Hasbro. © 2011 Hasbro. All Rights Reserved.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
The reverse effect has happened! Because of this sentence in your review… “Most characters are so cartoonish they might as well be carrying Acme explosives and muttering about a certain Road Runner.” … I now WANT to see T:DOTM, more than ever! HEH! What a fun review, to read! Thanks, sir!
The stories are so much crap I can’t see how people can continue to watch what looks to be nothing more than a badly written comic book. Hell even the 80’s cartoon was more complex and better written than these movie.
This movie is definitely big, loud, and adolescent, but I really appreciated all of the action movie cliches that Bay avoided, such as:
* He didn’t pile on the ‘just-in-the-nick-of-time rescues (movies like 2012 had so many of these that I wished one of those earthquakes/explosions/tornadoes/tidal waves would just get ‘em already)
*The military characters weren’t super-duper macho, spouting off cutesy lines after taking out each target; they were low-key and serious.
* The female lead did not do something ridiculously stupid (like wander off after been told to stay put), or turn into a 90lb martial arts expert taking out 300lb male adversaries
* He never got overly sentimental about a fallen character; they fought, and some didn’t make it
The same thing happened to me with the Resident Evil films. There comes a point that you find yourself wondering, “What am I really complaining about?”, and just enjoy it for what it is.
Not that the RE films are comparable to the massive undertaking of Transformers, of course.