Kevin James parlayed a rotund mall cop named Paul into a major movie career.
Now that he’s hitched his wagon to Adam Sandler there’s no stopping him.
The Sandler-produced “Zookeeper,” a new comedy casting James as a lonely animal expert, features a PG-version of the Sandler formula. Hokey slapstick. Mustache twirling villains. A doofus hero who has girls fighting over him.
The twist involves a zoo full of talking animals spouting wisecracks a freshman writing major could whip up during a study break.
It’s child-friendly pabulum with a few bona fide laughs to keep parents from eyeing the exit signs.
James stars as Griffin, a dedicated zookeeper whose gig cost him the love of his life. Seems his girlfriend Stephanie (Leslie Bibb) didn’t think she could settle down with a man who pals around with primates.
Flash forward five years, and Griffin is still providing tender loving care to the animals at the Franklin Park Zoo. When Stephanie re-enters the picture, older and a bit more willing to put up with Griffin’s monkeyshines, the zookeeper decides to pursue her anew.
And this time he’s got a gaggle of talking animals to give him dating tips.
Yes, the creatures in Griffin’s zoo can talk, and they decide to break their vow not to speak with humans to give Griffin advice on getting Stephanie back. Otherwise, he might ditch the zoo for a new line of work.
That means a pair of chatty bears teaches Griffin to strut like a jungle beast, while a wolf shows him the finer points of marking his territory.
“Zookeeper” is paint-by-numbers comedy aimed at pre-teens, but a few casting choices color outside the lines. Rosario Dawson, an actress who could charm a snake right out of its skin, plays a fellow zoo employee who develops feelings for Griffin. And then there are the animals, given voice by actors who can command the screen without their famous mugs.
Cher and Sylvester Stallone – now that’s a couple for the ages – crack wise as a lion couple arguing over who has the best advice for the lovelorn Griffin. Neither megastar is known for their voice over work, but they give surprising depth to a facile script cobbled together by five – count ‘em – screenwriters.
Nick Nolte gets the biggest role as Bernie, a depressed diamondback gorilla resistant to Griffin’s personal touch. His desiccated vocal chords making Bernie a real character for James to engage. Zookeeper and gorilla have a blast during a road trip to TGI Friday’s, arguably the baldest product placement moment in modern screen history.
Let’s hope the restaurant chain’s check covered the animal wrangler’s bill.
Ken Jeong pops up for a few quick scenes only because it’s illegal not to stage a modern comedy without him, and Mr. Fear Factor himself, Joe Rogan, spoofs his macho image as Stephanie’s ex-beau.
“Zookeeper” is for the young ones, or people who find getting stuck with porcupine needles the height of hilarity. But James’ can-do spirit, combined with some touching vocal performances, threaten to make it entertaining for the whole family.
(Photo: Kevin James takes dating tips from a pair of boisterous bears in “Zookeeper” – Sony Pictures)
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I’m embarrassed to admit that we may actually see this because my son loved Paul Blart Mall Cop. But I think that movie worked well because it was a knock-off of Die hard. It also helps that Kevin James plays a good lovable loser.