Films like “Australia” all but say “bring it on,” to critics.

How dare a movie try to work on an epic level with an epic-sized budget? And it’s old fashioned to boot?? Release the hounds!

“Australia” got nailed by some savage, and inaccurate, pre-release blog rantings. The actual film is an engrossing production, assuming you can look past its assembly line of flaws. You’ll also have to wade through the first 20 minutes which are as bad as those cranky bloggers foretold.

Nicole Kidman plays Lady Ashley, a porcelain doll of an aristocrat visiting Australia to support her husband’s latest business venture – a cattle deal Down Under. She’s barely set foot on Aussie soil when she learns her husband has been killed, leaving her to manage his affairs.

She gets a helping hand, and then some, from a hunky rancher named Drover (Hugh Jackman). They team up to drive her late husband’s herd to its destination as well as thwart the local villain (Bryan Brown) from swiping their deal out from under them.

Along the way the duo all but adopt an Aborigine child (scene swiper Brandon Walters) and watch as World War II engulfs the nation.

Is “Australia” “Titanic 2.0?” Not even close. The beginning could use a gallon of WD-40 and it would still creak along like a wagon train with a missing wheel. Kidman remains an actress who works in only one gear – steely resolve. When she melts in Jackman’s arms, it’s clearly a parlor trick, nothing more.

Jackman, still searching for a signature role that doesn’t involve metal claws, deserves a more ravishing dance partner.

“Australia” won’t have you checking your watch despite its bloated running time, and the action-packed finale manages to be both visually and emotionally complex almost despite itself.

It’s an epic, all right, but neither another “Heaven’s Gate” or “Dr. Zhivago.” It sits comfortable in the middle, and what a shame more movies don’t find their way there, too.

ALSO CHECK OUT:

Wolverine to host the Oscars

‘Australia’ – Dead film walking?

No related posts.

Have you heard about the disaster that is “Australia?”

No? Maybe because you haven’t seen it yet. Few people have – it comes out Nov. 26.

That hasn’t kept the knives from being drawn by the movie press. Film scribes are eagerly reporting the film’s woes, rumors that the ending is being tweaked and other unflattering tidbits.

“Australia” director Baz Lurhmann has even been dubbed arrogant — (OK, Kyle Smith has a point here).

Worst of all, I already know the ending. While some movie writers emblazon the word “spoiler” on the comments, others don’t, apparently.

Let’s take a deep breath and remember another bloated romance with horrible buzz before it opened.

Yeah, that “Titanic” sank like a stone.

(Photo: Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman star in the sweeping romance “Australia.” Photo credit: James Fisher)

Related posts:

1. Scraps for the Sandler Nation