WHAT WOULD TOTO WATCH? » Transformers

Please watch my 3D movie … please?

cftoto — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 14:39:38 +0000

Director Michael Bay is many things – box office titan, owner of a wind-swept ’80s ‘do and creator of the most confusing action scenes ever committed to celluloid.

But he’s not stupid.

Bay’s latest film, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” hits theaters this week, and it’s the latest attempt to bring a third dimension into our lives. And he’s a mite worried about his 3D investment. So he’s addressing the film’s fan base directly for help via his blog. (Hat Tip: Deadline Hollywood)

‘Dark of the Moon’ has some of the most technically challenging sequences ever shot. And shot in 3D. I must urge you to find the very best theatre and see this movie in that format. 3D was a forethought, not an afterthought in this movie. (editor’s note: You know he’s serious when he uses the “re” construction at the end of “theater”)

That came on the heels of an open letter to projectionists far and wide concerning “Moon.”

“It is critical your projectors play to the brightness levels specified for best results.”

He’s right, of course. We’re at a critical stage in 3D acceptance. “Dark of the Moon” will obliterate the competition. But will people avoid the 3D version for the cheaper 2D alternative? Bay sure hopes not. To his credit, he’s treating the technology as it should be treated, with respect and interest.

Too bad his predecessors neglected to do the same, leaving 3D filmmaking on the cusp of irrelevance.

Hollywood wants it both ways

cftoto — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:17:01 +0000

Any child can buy a ticket to see PG:13 rated movies like “Year One,” “Land of the Lost” or “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

It doesn’t matter how many sexual or excretory jokes they’ll see and hear once they settle into their seats.

The folks who defend the current rating system say the descriptors accompanying these films tell parents most of what they need to know. My latest feature in The Washington Times revisits the battle over PG:13 movies.

Tell that to “Transformers” director Michael Bay.

The critically maligned auteur specifically targeted younger audiences with his latest film, a movie which features plenty of coarse gags more appropriate for R-rated fare. Some of the worst material comes from two robots who some say represent ugly racial stereotypes:

“I purely did it for kids,” the director said. “Young kids love these robots, because it makes it more accessible to them.”

That doesn’t even include the “Transformers” fast food tie-ins at Burger King.

It’s disingenuous for Hollywood to claim the ratings system exists to protect children when the industry’s kingmakers specifically target young minds to fill their coffers.

(Photo: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is aimed at young viewers but features material not suitable for impressionable minds.)

‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’ – Critic-proof clunker

cftoto — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:38:21 +0000

Movie critics generally despise director Michael Bay, but after watching his latest movie, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” it’s clear they’ve viewed him too harshly.

A Michael Bay movie is like an oasis, a chance to catch up on meandering thoughts, recalibrate one’s supermarket shopping list or even mentally balance your checkbook.

After all, there’s absolutely nothing happening on screen that has a chance of engaging the brain, the heart or any other organ beyond the ears.

This is one loud sequel.

“Fallen” reteams stars Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox with those shape-changing robots – Autobots and Decepticons.

Shia’s Sam Witwicky is off to college, but he still carries a torch for his grease-monkey galpal (Fox). But before he can settle into his dorm room he learns a vital piece to the Transformers puzzle was left in his home.

That draws the interest of the remaining Decepticons, who are regrouping as the story opens in an attempt to revive The Fallen, a long-buried robot who hopes to snuff out the sun.

Confused yet?

Beyond trotting out a plot far more complicated than even a skilled director could untangle, Bay takes the incoherency which marred the final half hour of the first film and ups the ante beyond even what his detractors thought possible.

Nothing makes sense here. Nothing. It’s all but impossible to figure out the good robots from the bad robots when they fight – which happens plenty. A crush of new robot characters are either absurd, ill-used or downright Jar Jar Binks-like in their annoyance.

We’ll leave the racially insensitive, ghetto-talking ‘bots for other cultural critics to chew on.

LaBeouf’s Sam is no longer the likable high school geek. Now, he’s a cucumber cool hero who spends the entire movie running. Here. There. Everywhere. He runs and runs and runs, and those nasty Decepticons can’t seem to stop him.

Sam keeps running, all the while explosions go off all around him. It’s never clear what’s happening on screen, or why Bay keeps cutting to U.S. military forces who spend more time fighting government bureaucrats than evil robots.

At one point a tiny robot confronts Fox’s character and says, “you’re hot, but you ain’t too bright.”

Somewhere you gotta think every gaffer, grip and best boy on set is chortling just off mic.

“Revenge” does offer one cinematic first. One of the soldiers cries out, “the Jordanians are here,” when that country’s military forces enter the fray. The moment could be a sop to international film audiences, but since absolutely nothing makes sense in the film it’s silly to even guess about the subplot point.

The first “Transformers” was near perfect popcorn entertainment before devolving into one long, loud, utterly absurd finale.

“Revenge of the Fallen” isn’t nearly as cohesive as that slam-bang finish.

(Photo: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” revisits the fight between the Autobots and Decepticons.)

‘Transformers’ set to rock box office

cftoto — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:59:22 +0000

It’s only Tuesday, but movie goers have just one more day before those shape-shifting, metal crunching Transformers return to theaters.

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” opens tomorrow instead of Friday, a move typically made to make way for a film with outsized box office potential.

No argument here. While the forthcoming “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” looks like a strained attempt to leverage a toy franchise, all signs indicate “Fallen” will obliterate the box office over the next five days.

Even if audiences can’t follow all the mayhem going on in the movie. Director Michael Bay isn’t known for subtlety or coherent action sequences.

The film will be seen by many audiences in IMAX, so here are a few tidbits on making these robots tick:

Optimus Prime will be life size on IMAX screens in many forest fight shots.

IMAX frames take about 6 times longer than anamorphic frames to render.

IMAX frame render times: As high as 72 hours per frame

‘Transformers’ set to conquer all

cftoto — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:28:02 +0000

If advanced ticket sales are any indication, the summer’s box office champ may already be decided.

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” is doing gangbuster business over at Fandango.com.

The ticket buying site isn’t the only one reporting sharp interest in the sequel.

Today, MovieTickets.com reveals that advanced tickets sales for the film are outpacing the original by a 3-1 margin at the same time before release.

And half of the ticket sales are for IMAX theaters.

“Revenge of the Fallen” opens June 24.

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Buy advance tickets to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and get a free song download on iTunes!

Sneak a peek at ‘Transformers’ sequel

cftoto — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:29:02 +0000

Can’t wait to see Shia LaBeouf battle shape-shifting robots this summer?

Then secure a pass to see the original “Transformers” tomorrow night and you’ll be among the first to watch the new trailer for “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

The franchise starter and trailer combo is being shown only in select cities April 29.

Denver residents can email transformers2trailerdenver@gmail.com and they’ll get a free screening pass for the one-time showing.

For more information on participating cities, and the email addresses for passes to other cities’ screenings, visit the official movie site. Or, just check out the online flier.

(Photo: Shia LaBeouf is down, but not out, battling robots in the original “Transformers.”)

UPDATE: Here’s a pic of the Denver “Transformers” event complete with a costumed fan.

Sneak peek at ‘Knowing’